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The following facts have been checked and verified by Chuck Norris himself and were all confirmed as the absolute truth.
1) Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.
2) Under Chuck Norris' beard isn't a chin, its another fist.
3) Chuck Norris is so fast he can run round the world and punch himself on the back of the head
4) Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
5) When Chuck Norris does a press up he isnt pusshing himself up, hes pushing the world down.
6) Before the boogey man goes to bed every night he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
7) There is no theoty of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris allowed to live.
8) God Regularly asks Chuck Norris for advice
9)Chuck Norris doesnt read books, he stares at them till they give him the information he needs.
10) Chuck Norris built rome - in a day.
11)There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was just cold and turned up the sun
12) Guns dont kill people, Chuck Norris kills people.
13)The leading causes of death in the U.S. is, 1. Heart disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
14) Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
15) Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch HE decides what time it is.
16) the quickest way to a mans heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
17) Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse, horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
18) Chuck Norris doesnt shave he kicks himself in the face.
19) The only thing that can hurt Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris
20) Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
21) Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
22) Chuck Norris' house was once huanted by a ghost. The ghost later left through utter fear.
23) Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
24) The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
25) Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
26) Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
27) Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
28) Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
29) Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
30) Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.
